The media paints a picture of Aspies that is incorrect. We are thought to be disruptive, burdensome, and downright dangerous. That’s what outsiders want you to believe. If you would allow me the time, I would like to show you a more complete picture.
Any group of people will consist of some dangerous minds, sure. However, the majority of us are at least partially content with our lives and many of us manage jobs. Most all of us are hilarious. We’re seen as loners, but many of us thrive in the right relationships. We are people!
It seems like we sometimes speak another language than neurotypicals. But I assume an outsider looking in would feel the same way about us. We may take longer to respond during conversations. We may need to fidget or look away when someone is speaking to us.
We may not express how we feel until the emotions–good or bad– are about to bubble over. Once those emotions do surface, we might not express them in a way that society deems acceptable. But this very seldom equals dangerous.
I’ve thrown a cup before in anger and broke it. Same with a phone. I sometimes yell, slam things, and stomp my feet. Do I intentionally hurt people? Never. Do I vent emotions that have been bottled up for too long? Always.
Excitement, happiness, love, and any other emotion you can think of can surface suddenly and take us by surprise. Some cause crying for ‘no reason,’ some cause dancing and singing, some cause selective mutism, and some cause a longing for connection with those closest to us. We will focus on the feeling of being overwhelmed for the purpose of this article.
I began thinking about how I express negative emotions after one of the children in my care started crying, throwing toys, and yelling at me. He has ear protection, but he does not always want to wear it. I allow him to choose. I ask him before leaving, when I know we are going somewhere that might be loud. However, during group work in class today, it got to be very loud, and I hadn’t anticipated it.
I’m disappointed in myself for not putting two and two together. At the time, I had my ear protection on, and the noise was too much for me. I didn’t think about the noise also being too much for him, because he normally doesn’t wear his ear protection when we’re doing group projects.
Once in circle time, he cried and mumbled something that I couldn’t comprehend. He was getting frustrated at my lack of understanding. He began patting his little ears with his hands. I finally understood. He wanted his ear protection!
I put them on him, and we rocked together until it was time to line up for recess. He was falling asleep. The poor darling was exhausted! He did not even want to participate at recess, and he normally loves to run.
The crying, screaming, and throwing was his way of expressing his emotions. It was too loud. He was exhausted from the overstimulation of the day. He was just done. Mrs. Peyton hears you, little man. I hear you, and I will be there for you for as long as I can.
- Poetry: Don’t Tell Me - May 21, 2019
- Dear Everyone, Please and Thank You. Signed, Your Autistic Loved One - February 6, 2019
- Emotional Overload and Aspie Understanding - December 13, 2018
5 Responses
This article helped me in ways I’d never run into before, to understand what I think is the spectrum of autism. Thank you! You sound like a wonderful teacher.
Your empathy and understanding shine through in this heartfelt reflection. It is crucial to recognize and validate the diverse ways individuals express emotions especially for those who may experience sensory overload differently.
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Ik herken veel in wat je schrijft over het omgaan met emoties en hoe moeilijk het kan zijn om alles binnen te houden. Soms is het juist fijn om even iets totaal anders te doen om te ontspannen en even afstand te nemen. Voor mensen uit België die soms overweldigd raken, ontdekte ik een plek waar ik even kon ontsnappen met een paar eenvoudige spellen. Bij spinmama merk ik dat het spelen me helpt mijn gedachten te verzetten zonder teveel druk. Het is niet perfect, maar die kleine pauze maakt voor mij echt verschil als het even te veel wordt.
Thank you for writing this with such honesty and heart. As someone on the spectrum myself, I felt every word, especially the part about emotions finally spilling out after being bottled up for too long. That sudden “cup-throwing” moment isn’t violence; it’s the only language the nervous system has left when everything else has been ignored or misunderstood.
Your story with the little boy hit me hard. The fact that he was patting his ears and you understood exactly what he needed shows how deeply attuned you are, even when the world calls our signals “disruptive.” That’s real empathy, the kind most people only pretend to have.
After days like that (when sensory overload leaves me completely drained), I personally unwind with something low-pressure and repetitive that lets my brain finally downshift. Lately that’s been a quiet 20–30 minutes of low-stakes slots at Magius Casino Canada. The lights and sounds are predictable, the chat is optional, and I can wear headphones with my own music. It’s honestly one of the few online spaces where I don’t feel pressured to mask or perform. Ten minutes there and the bottled-up static starts to fade.
You’re doing incredibly important work, Mrs. Peyton. Kids like him (and adults like us) are lucky to have someone who actually listens. Keep speaking up; the more people hear the real story, the less room there is for the harmful stereotypes. ❤️