My soul chose an #ActuallyAutistic body this time around…
Like #AllAutistics…
- Every word I say… or don’t,
- every note I play… or can’t,
- every song I sing… or wish I could,
- every air molecule I out… then in,
- every moment I cling to… panicked…
- Can’t help but BE That…
- #Neurodiversity.
Here are two written “songs without a singer.”
Neither even sighs “autism.”
That exercise is left to you, Gentle Reader…
That Song I’ll Never Sing to My Son
Beat: Cohen 6/8 Ballad
Verse
Like some angel
With a dislocated shoulder
Half f l y i n g
H a l f falling
Younger to older
From the day I was born.
Verse
Tumbling to earth
Rushing up below
Body on f i r e
H e a r t aflame
In s l o – m o , a horror picture show…
To a silent piano score…
Chorus
Like that song
I’ll never sing
To my son.
Like that song
Like this song….
Rap
Don’t be a dick
It’s harder than you think
Learn from my mistakes
Believe the world’s
A mostly good place
And if it’s not
(whispered)
Make another….
Don’t please yourself
Less than bosses & lovers
Don’t waste time
On brilliant Plan B’s
Life’s what happens
Dodging disconnects & Drama Queens
But most of all
Don’t forget to have a kid
Like you might forget
That call-in contest
You just knew you could win….
Verse
Like some angel
Thrown outta heaven
Half f l y i n g
H a l f falling
From what could’ve been…
The day I was born.
Chorus
Like that song
I’ll never sing…
To that son
I never had.
Like that song…
Ya know,
Like this song.
Metal music?
ALL sub-sub-SUB genres drive this autistic boy into panic.
#AltMetal… My first, ahem, stab.
NOISE
Jim Morrison scream — Drowning Pool beat
CHORUS
NOISE…
Too. Much.
Noise.
Noise noise noise.
Too much
Noise noise noise.
Too much
Noise noise noise.
Too. Much.
NOISE….
VERSE
Heart pounding
Noise.
Skull splitting
Noise.
Throat ripping
NOISE.
Welcome to the Realm
Of screaming spitting
NOISE.
VERSE
Parents yell
Noise.
Teacher’s bell
Noise.
Preachers tell
NOISE.
Born into the Realm
Of dreaming, living dead
NOISE…
BRIDGE
(growled)
Screens burn my eyes
Play lists deafen ears
Food tastes like lies
Feeding my mind fears
Pornhub rots my sex
Netflix eats my soul
My only thought…
“What’s next what’s next what’s next”
As I fill another bowl
Bass just keeps thrumming
Noise beyond reason
Winter for sure is coming
In Satan’s own season…
VERSE
Factories pounding
Noise.
Shattered glass sounding
Noise.
Too tightly wound in
NOISE.
Surviving the Realm
Of drowning, suffocating
NOISE.
CHORUS/OUTRO
NOISE…
Too. Much.
Noise.
Noise noise noise.
Too much
Noise noise noise.
Too much
Noise noise noise.
Too. Much.
NOISE…
Too. Much.
Noise…
Too. Much.
(whispered)
n o i s e ….
More here.
Cuz it's ALL cosplay.
I was born before autism was invented... More or less. 1953. Long before autism or Asperger's were widely discussed in medicine or pop culture. That didn't happen til the 70s.
I've been here for the WHOLE movie.
First, I played That Know-It-All Kid. Then I was a Genius. Til I was a Fairy, Nerd, Spaz, Homo, Geek, Weird, Loner, Schizo, Maniac, Black Sheep, Loser, Ex, Ex, Ex, finally Autist...
Been a meditation teacher, cult member, typesetter, editor, magazine publisher, ad agency owner, marketing veep, non-profit activist, 3-time grad student, 3-time husband, homeless, mental health counselor, substance abuse counselor, cult counselor, homeless, singer/songwriter, homeless, fast-food clerk, Pretend Rock Star...
I've talked with Bill Gates. Argued with Bill Joy. Touched the Maharishi. Met anonymous geniuses in university cubicles, office bull pens, trailer parks, homeless on the street...
So.
I have no credentials to offer. At least none that matter anymore to me.
So I offer my life.
It's all I have left to give.
- Comic Book Hero: How This #AutisticSurvivor Escaped Bullying, Abuse, Molestation - February 8, 2020
- Selective Mutism: I Have No Mouth. But I Must SCREAM - January 15, 2020
- Poetry: Autism is what I breathe. Neurodiversity? What I MUST write… - January 8, 2020
2 Responses
You could also try doing freestyles to currently trending rap songs, such as “The Box” by Roddie Rich, “Futsal Shuffle 2020” by Lil Uzi Vert, “Woah” by Lil Baby, and “U Played” by Moneybagg Yo, and you could write them about the kind of things you wrote here.
Hmmmm…. I wonder if I could pull that off….