Neurolurker diaries: holiday confessions1 min read

She shops and she plans to keep it together
It feels like it’s been going on for­ever.

The events pile up, it’s been a peo­pley week, 
the sight and sounds within her have reached a peak.

She receives an unex­pected gift, oh what is the rule? 
Realizing she forgot someone, she feels like a fool.

She was invited to a fun event, but her energy was weak.
Even if she wanted to go, she just couldn’t speak.

So many out­side expec­ta­tions for what the hol­i­days should be
Who the hell cares? Why can’t she just be?

The noise and the clatter build and grow
Just like a soda bottle that is shaken and let go.

The events that others love are sup­posed to fill her with joy,
Yet they take over while zap­ping energy, it must be a ploy.

Oh where is this beauty and magic within
Her body feels like it is in full spin.

Where can she find the nearest escape route?
She says screw it, I’m out.

Except that I’m not!

I’m fighting like hell, and I’m sit­ting right here.
Remembering the wonder, magic, and hol­iday cheer.

Please don’t dis­miss me, while I stand by so near

I’m keeping it together with shop­ping and events
Except it sucks all of my energy, and then I’m just spent.

As someone between worlds, it’s hard to explain
At times it feels the expla­na­tions are in vain.

Acknowledge that my life expe­ri­ences are real,
Please don’t dis­miss all that I feel.

Give me some space, don’t push me to be
I need to act exactly like me!

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