She shops and she plans to keep it together
It feels like it’s been going on forever.
The events pile up, it’s been a peopley week,
the sight and sounds within her have reached a peak.
She receives an unexpected gift, oh what is the rule?
Realizing she forgot someone, she feels like a fool.
She was invited to a fun event, but her energy was weak.
Even if she wanted to go, she just couldn’t speak.
So many outside expectations for what the holidays should be
Who the hell cares? Why can’t she just be?
The noise and the clatter build and grow
Just like a soda bottle that is shaken and let go.
The events that others love are supposed to fill her with joy,
Yet they take over while zapping energy, it must be a ploy.
Oh where is this beauty and magic within
Her body feels like it is in full spin.
Where can she find the nearest escape route?
She says screw it, I’m out.
Except that I’m not!
I’m fighting like hell, and I’m sitting right here.
Remembering the wonder, magic, and holiday cheer.
Please don’t dismiss me, while I stand by so near
I’m keeping it together with shopping and events
Except it sucks all of my energy, and then I’m just spent.
As someone between worlds, it’s hard to explain
At times it feels the explanations are in vain.
Acknowledge that my life experiences are real,
Please don’t dismiss all that I feel.
Give me some space, don’t push me to be
I need to act exactly like me!
- Neurolurker diaries: holiday confessions — December 24, 2019
- Between Labels: Living neuro-confused in a neurotypical world — November 24, 2019